Not Broken I am not broken, needing to be fixed. Not sick, needing to be well. I wish to learn so that I may grow. Feed my soul so that it will expand. Grab up the reins of awareness and ride my chariot on. Learn to read the signs posted that point to the destined experiences that my soul is choosing in the pinprick moment of my death and birth out of which the infinite moment of my life is now becoming. I am what I am because I know no other way I own what I am because mine own hands hold sway Awkwardly Intimate Found himself a dot thanked himself a lot Told him go away held him here to stay What's a guy to do could have been me or you Inside stage ahead booked himself instead Let's get awkwardly intimate let's dance with our insecurities A crack in my façade, a peel in my paint, a chink in my armour, a place I cannot think. The leap of faith it takes to give belief a break Stepping out of superstition tapping into intuition Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better purge the wound, the pain makes it matter A piece of broken wrapped in sweat I scratch it with my circumspect I watched my mind get stolen by the spectacle I've chosen a distraction from the pain and the strength I could have gained Let's get awkwardly intimate let's dance with our insecurities It gets so hard to move through the experience that claims you gotta keep yourself on guard or it'll get just too damn hard I send it out so that it'll come back It's a little shout won't draw any flack I keep it small and under the radar So it won't fall and drive me haywire It's a compromise that I've made I've justified I will behave Let through dressed too fine kept himself in line Right about then he knew what it was he had to do Left himself untaught ranked himself a rot Let's get awkwardly intimate let's dance with our insecurities A crack in my façade, a peel in my paint, a chink in my armour, a place I cannot think. The leap of faith it takes to give belief a break Stepping out of superstition tapping into intuition Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better purge the wound, the pain makes it matter Georgie's Boys For so many years when I was young, there was the rest of the world, then there was me and Mom. Wasn't easy in the 70s, for a single mom with a mental disease. I'm Georgie's boy, her pride and joy, I grew by her affection. When things where up and the laughter rolled, golden moments that my soul still holds. Dancing to some doo-op and some trucker tunes, folding clothes together in the laundry room. I'm Georgie's boy, her pride and joy, I hold her light within me. She taught me not to lie and she taught me not to steal, she taught me how to love and she taught me how to feel. Making deep connection with the greatest of ease I was boy shy embarrassed by the intimacy I'm Georgie's boy, her pride and joy, I was stretched by her reflection. Fell through the Horseshoe in 76, basement apartment, cockroach pit. Didn't know what the blackened spoon was for, only that it echoed the darkness at her core. Still carry the void that was always with her, I feel it in my need to disappear. I'm Georgie's boy, her pride and joy, we went through hell together Learned some lessons by opposite, sidestepped the alcohol and opiates. Never got hooked by the will to self destruct, accept the daily death of a thousand cuts. I'm Georgie's boy, her pride and joy, she gave me the strength to change me Her smile glowed with the light of her soul, even with the pain of an unfillable hole. Dreaming of the happy family ever after, somehow ending up in the usual disaster. I'm Georgie's boy, her pride and joy, I feel her in my edges. Day after I turned 12, my brother Clint was born, guess I wasn't an only child anymore. Before too long, along came Matthew, she had you for each other, it was her gift to you We're Georgie's boys, her pride and joy, we carry her forever. Calling Pilot K9 sitting with my thoughts feeling full of you seeing these reflections in everything i view calling pilot k9 are you out there somewhere moments tender us together i stroked your dread and had to sigh in the best that life can offer are these reminders that we're gonna die cause we all miss you here the signals that you sent will touch heaven's ceiling the message in the bottle is a cry for healing you touch us all in waves pushed against the wall with an unfothomable face is this stumbling fall really just a state of grace Dance Like There's No Tomorrow Dance like there's no tomorrow Cry like there's no today Wrap yourself in sorrow Because nothing ever stays Take some time to hold it all Dissect the fear then move it along This incredulity sits like infinity Heart holds on but the mind it knows When the moments gone you gotta let it go I can't bear to see you go Forgive me if I look away No matter what wings I sew Gravity will always weigh Cycles of becoming wrap around themselves Awareness is a rider inside of time it dwells Xenophobic in the Forest Light Xenophobic in the forest light Demons fed in the cross-town night Subsiding truth of shattered youth The scrapyard piled high Out the shuddered sigh Falling down and falling through Upward grazing, fretful view Nothing is the known Ignorance is all that's grown Shatter me, looking through the eye Flatter free, see who it's scripted by Do unto, to undo, coercion of the art Bled us dry right from the start Give it back, give it back, give it back Solid wall and chainy thorns Guardians spread wings and sharpen horns Held in tight and moulded to the norm Leaving the product unprepared for the storm Padded fractal life in which to mature in caused away bridge in rack and ruin Standing on the edge of this cliff momentous A Freak and a Fag I'm a freak and a fag And I come from a small town I wear my intention Like a burlap evening gown I fell through when I was just 15 Saw some things that you wouldn't believe Grew up under the covers Found my difference there Just wasn't like the others Frictions left some scars to bear Coming up from under the surface skin I found the edge of me and where the world begins I let down my guard And stripped my soul Engaging in this process Is my only goal Rolling out the inside part I frame my guts and call it art Expand the notion if I can Of what it means to be a man Blazing through the Summer haze Tripping through the Winter daze Chasing visions in the afterglow What's underneath I have to know Feeling Gifted I live North of Maynooth, I grew up in the area Could tell you some stories that'd probably scare you But things have changed and so have I though the scenery's still beautiful and oh so very alive Feeling gifted with a sense of home All the folks I know together through the years we've grown Feeling rooted with my feet upon this ground a place in which my time of life can be found Along these miles of highway, and endless gravel roads memories come back to me, my life in episodes The year I was born Grandma bought the lodge on McKenzie Lake growing up it became my goto place to be safe Early on, me and Mom, we bounced around a bit always ending up right back here where things just sort of fit laying down roots and adding to our story she took her exit way too soon and left me to my journey Moved back to Sabine in 79 bitter Winters in a chipboard shack long nights listening to the trees all crack The lads up in Whitney, they treated me rough I know they were just trying to teach me to be tough Then some of them started to realize when they told me about their feelings I would empathize Went to High School at NHHS I'm a survivor if you haven't guessed bots in the parking lot and fights in the pines back in the early 80's, the place was in a bit of a decline that tech was probably pretty awesome when it was new by the time I got there it seemed held together by spit prayer and glue Life was less padded then required a bit of a thicker skin After college and a year inside the machine I came back swimming in a whole different stream Learned the history of some folks pushing edges Helped some folks with some plants for their hedges Paradise Lunch, a lily pad in a parking lot sea A glorious hippy uprising in the shade of an ancient tree